SURPRISE!

Molly and I went over to Siqi's school today to give her a surprise for her birthday. I'm telling you her school's like super far away! And here's today's headlines: I WASN'T LATE. I WAS ON TIME. AND MOLLY WAS LATE FOR HALF AN HOUR!

I don't usually wait for people as I'm usually the one who's always late. And it sucks to wait. People think you're some kind of weirdo pacing around the same place over and over again. Haha. So I should really try to be on time next time I meet people. Especially Siqi. The poor girl is ALWAYS WAITING.

Went to MArina square with her later on together with Renee and Cherina. The bus which was supposedly 'express' took such a long time and I had to pay like $2.20!!!! So expensive please. But it was worth the trip as I met alot of former pl mates and it was cool to meet these people whom I may never see again in my life. We were supposed to play pool but then the stupid asshole whom I think may have lost his balls the night before, refused to allow Renee to play pool just cos she lost her wallet and had no identification toprove her age. WTF? She lloks 17 and we've all already proven so how can she NOT be 17? I always knew old men were dumb but I didn't realize the problem was this big.

Gaya and I watched 'PERFECT STRANGERS' today morning. It was funny! Halle berry is such a psychopath man. And miles has a nice body. We laughed like crazy during the movie. The cinema was pretty empty. And we were the only ones laughing during the movie. I have reason to suspect we were the only 2 who understood the movie and what the people were saying. It's not the perfect movie but it was nice to watch. I prefer secret. I think lun mei and jay make a perfect match. She's not pretty but she's got some sort of sophisticated aura about her that makes her really attractive. And she goes or the au natural look with minimal make up. I like that!

Today I spent alot so I probably shoudn't go out anymore. Mum's gonna buy me that cute little dress we saw the other day and I cant wait! And I seriously hope that mum won't find out that I spent the money!!!

IF ONLY...

If only my DODO fishball maid would shut up. If only my annoying cousin would return me all the stuff that she has borrowed from me.( which I think adds up to her entire room?)

My maid cannot shut up and I think the only way that we can shut her up is to KILL HER. Chinese people call it 'sha ren mie kou' , but my version is 'sha ren bi kou'. Her annoying voice is so freaking LOUD. My used-to-be strong ears cannot take the pressure and I am in danger of contracting a disease called 'DEAFNESS' at the tender age of 17. How loud is her voice u may ask? Let's see...If I use 10 microphones and scream into them, the loudness of my voice would only be 1/10 of hers. Of course this is an exageraton on my part, but i'm just trying to prove my point.

Issue number 2: My cousin. We've been silently fighting for like what, 11 years? Which means, since the day that she 'POPPED' out of her mum's stomach, we've been enemies. Just like that. She either steals from me or just borrow and not return. What the hell? I'd rather she steal because what I don't know won't hurt me. But if I find out, of course I'd get my revenge.

Don't you just love my family? Oh and another thing. If only my mum, a crazed jolin tsai fan would stop playing jolin's songs on the hi-5. It's annoying. Another reason to make me deaf before I even turn 20. If I become deaf, I'd join superstar and win lotsa sympathy votes like CHEN WEILIAN.

YESTERDAY AND DAY BEFORE

My computer is worse than a piece of shit. That is why I gotta blog for like yesterday and the day before. It always manages to cock up at the worst times, when I really need to use the internet. DAMN IT.

Day before yesterday: Went out with Gaya to play pool again. But the place was so freaking crowded so we hda to wait for a table. We went to MACS to get sme food and then after a while guy at K POOL called us. I always knew that freaking elavator that can only fit 3 people( 1 if the person's fat) will break down one day. I doubt even the alarm bell in the lift's working. Anyway it didn't break down that day but the DOORS GOT STUCK!

We've all heard of lifts breaking down but doors getting stuck? That's just so weird. So the people inside tried to push the doors close but to no avail. Gaya and me were just outside the lift enjoying all the drama. HAHA. Talk about mean. But in such circumstances what could we do? Get our toolboxes out and help? I don't even know how to use a bloody screwdriver for GOD's sake!

But the lift recovered after the people went out so Gaya and I just hopped into the lift together with an Indian man. We agreed to play around 10 games but ended up playing only 2 because of 3 indian men who look like rapists. I am NOT JOKING. They look like those rapists that we read in newspapers. And they proved to us that they are potential molesters or rapists by trying to hit on Gayathrii. What the hell is wrong with these Indian men??? And in case you're wondering I'm not racist. I mean Gayathrii's my friend!

After we left the indian men left too! COINCIDENCE? I doubt it. anyway the rest of the day was fun with us taking pictures and stuff before the day had to end. All good things must come to an end after all.

YESTERDAY: Woke up at around 9:30am. Herad my stupid handphone ringing and bf was calling me. Aske d me to go WWW. Anyway I went. First and last time going to WWW. aAfter all I'm leaving for Canada at the end of this month. Doubt there'd be another chance for me to go again. Had fun even though I felt abit of an extra with bf and her sis and her sister's friend and family. But it was fun. Hot babes and hot lifeguards. HAHA.

BANANA? PAPAYA?

I asked my cousin (the girl) what shape my face is. I told her it's heart shaped. Know what she said??!! She said" Herat shaped meh? I think it's mango shaped." I was utterly speechless. Like what the hell is mango shaped? What shape is a mango? Is that an insult?

I asked her whether she was sure. I think she was trying not to offend me so she changed tack and said " No. Maybe like papaya." WHAT THE HELL???

I was like WOMAN YOU THINK PAPAYA IS BETTER THEN MANGO???? Bothe equally bad pls. And papaya is longer than mango so I think papaya is worse. The little minx. Shall not ask her anymore. That is why we can NEVER be friends....

I celebrated my grandad's b'day today. Guess what? Asked grandma grandad's age and she got it WRONG. He's 69 but she told me 70. Made me write 70 on trhe b'day card and after that when I found out my mistake at the restaurant, I couldn't make changes because I used UHU glue to stick the 70. Apparently, blurrness is in the family genes.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD???

Ok seriously. I just watched Campus superstar result show. And GUESS WHAT??!!! MOP FLOOR (real name: Guohua)GOT IN!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with the voters???

He is embarrassing. There's just no other word to describe this fellow. I know I'm gonna get retribution for criticizing him like that but in all fairness, I really have to say this. Keeping such things bottled up inside me will just cause my already malfunctioning brain to explode.

Last week he sang a song about some cleaning thing and you know what??? He brought a bloody cloth, kept it in his pocket and to end of his song, he started mopping the floor with it! Like what the hell is wrong with this person? We pay 60 cents for every vote that we make for a reason. Throught the votes the producers of this TV show earn millions, if not MORE. I'm sure they've got more than enough money to hire cleaners. Just do your own part by singing properly. Why did he have to mop the floor???

If mopping the floor could get him such popularity, next time if I ever join any competititon, I'd bring my vacuum cleaner. It's way more effective than your cloth MR MOP FLOOR.

WHAT?

Went out with Siqi today. As usual I was late. Supposed to meet her at 2pm but then by 2:20pm I was still at home. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with myself. I was ready by 1pm. Last time we met, I made her wait for 1 1/2 hours. So sorry man!

Can't believe the skinny jeans she bought was so CHEAP!!! Only 28 bucks! I paid 90 bucks for mine!!! Stupid me. Met her friend today as well. Name's Chris. Keep slanging and to compliment every word that he says he gotta come up with 10 actions. Joke. Told him he should meet my maid. I would totally love to hear them talk to each other and argue the shit out of each other with so many actions. HAHA.

Pool rocks!!!

GAYA AND POOL JUST DON'T CLICK!

Haha. Today Gaya and me went to play pool at K pool. It's seriously funny cause or one its Gaya we're talking about here and two, Gaya can't play pool. I won 5/5 of the games we played and watching Gaya trying to play pool is seriously funny. The stick went out of her hands like 10 times. HAHAHA. But I should like give her credit because even though its her first time playing, she could pocket quite alot of the balls. Probably just luck, but still....

We sneaked fries into K POOL and the freaking woman at the counter caught us. All Gaya's fault. She couldn't resist the fries and had to stuff 3 into her mouth at one go. So the lady saw her. From then on we couldn't eat anymore cause the woman kept staring at us. Joke.

After pool we went to Tampiness Ikea. I thought there was a free shuttle but then apparently the shuttle had already stopped for quite some time. So embarrassing can? I keep going to Ang Mo Kio and yet I didn't know. How moronic and blur can I be? But before we went to Ikea we saw shuai ge and even thoough I'd already forgotten about him BUT now I'm crazy again.

He cut his hair and re-dyed it!!! Look so damn bloody shuai. Not your typical dream guy but...*sighs. Anyway Gya's mum is such A NICE lady!!! She not only treated me to a fantastic lunch at Ikea, she bought me stuff and an ice-cream cone! Thank YOU!!!!!!

Had loads of fun today and I hope to play pool with Gaya again! I told her if we ever played again I would score 10/10. So can't wait to see her again! Anyway I owe you 5 bucks mate! I'm not one to keep debts for long so hope to return you your money soon as well!

MEDICATED OIL IS GOOD

Today I went shopping with Elizbeth to change her tomboyish n penguin walk image. I wouldn't say that it was a very successful day but still, we got something nice for her. As in nicer than her usual tee. Much more feminine. Good luck in changing your image and becoming more feminine Elizabeth!

After shopping I went to AMK to play pool with bf. Pool is just so damn bloody addictive. I couldn't stop playing and I didn't wat to stop but bf said we had to. Anyway it was so expensive. Around 7 bucks for two hours. Don't know what's up with my ball today. So embarrassing! The white ball jumped out of our table and in the end this guy in a giordano pink shirt had to pick it up for me. Bf still had the cheek to laugh!

Then, when we went to AMK hub I smelt medicated oil. HAHA. So I said really loudly, "How come there's such a strong feng you smell?" I looked behind us and it was youngsters so i jus assumed the smell came from the old indian man in front. BUT THEN, one of the guys behind us smelt his hand and asked his friend something. HAHA. Bf and I laughed till our stomachs ache. MORAL: Medicated oil is good for both the young and old. (I personally kinda like ru yi you)

JOKES

Went shopping with Siqi at vivocity today. Went crazy as usual. Actually it's more of me going crazy rather than her. Took so many pictures in most of the shops that we went into and didn't buy anything. Mostly it's pictures of us in sunglasses and a few of us in hats. HAHA. Damn fun.

I tried like almost all weird shapes and sizes of sunglasses and all the hats that were available in Forever 21. Crazy hah? We went to River Island and got chased out because OBVIOUSLY we were not buyers.

Shop attendant: "excuse me, you are not aloowed to take pictures here."

HAHA. Actually we only got chased out after I used MY annoying camera to take ONE picture. BLOODY CAMERA. I didn't know how to use it so I didn't know how to remove the flash and it ended up attracting so much attention.

Sian

Singapore is like seriously BORING. Now my life just rotates around my dog, my dog and last but not least, my dog. I wanna be busy! I don't mind doing Amath, Emath. whatever...Chemistry practical's fine as well. I JUST FREAKING NEED SOMETHING TO DO!

LIKE THE OWNER

My dog keeps barking. I think it's a mad dog. Which means, he's taking after me. I'm crazy. No wonder my maids and even the dog that I get isn't normal. Speaking of maids, my maid's getting on my nerves AGAIN.

Just not able to SHUT UP. Like some kind of deformed parrot that just can't KEEP QUIET. Even when and where and what of shit my dog shits out also wanna argue. What the hell is wrong with that woman? Her voice:" ohh...you know I'm telling ON you he will make poo poo watery."

Do I care whether his shit is solid or watery? Do I? As long as no piles can already. OH GOD! Do you hear my call for help? I need to be saved from the attack of the cannot-shut-up DODO FISHBALL.

I got a DOG!!

YAY! So happy. My mum brought home the dog yesterday. Its name is Happy and its a terrier. Can't wait to go back and see my dog.

Dog affairs aside, I finallylooked at the calender for the first time in months yesterday. I realised that I haven't studied since the 16th of November. Which means I haven't studied for like what, 7 months and 20 days ( if u bother to calculate). Which in my opinion is a really LONG time. But I can't say I'm looking forward to going to school. I mean school's just plain hell isn't it?

I can't help thinking back when I was in PL. Used to hate school but now, it feels like something's missing from my life. Ms Wong I miss you. Haha. Ms Wong. She's so cute. She makes me feel tall. She's the only person who makes me feel tall. Every day during her lesson I'll never fail to hear her shouting " who's that laughin and laughing away? " Then she will look at me and even though I wasn't the one laughing when I look at her face i'll just start laughing. She'll then say " Niko YOU AGAIN. STAND UP." My name's NicOLE, but she has never bothered with the LE. Once she just called me PIDONO. Now kids, that's just plain RUDE. Don't learn ok?

KOMPUI

Has anyone ever seen Kompui's freindster???? I mean like look at her pictures?? She was posing really weirdly. Her head was tilted sideways and she was SMILING. That smile is so freaky and starngely familiar. Now let me recall...where have I seen that smile before? Aaah!! I rememebr now. I saw it in the newspaper. I think she's a terrorist. Not surprising please. That smile could prove more potent than an atomic bomb.

She just doesn't get IT. She looks like a boy but she's trying so hard to look like a girl. WHY BOTHER? I mean that mop on her head that we call hair just CANNOT GROW. It grows anywhere and everywhere BUT longer. She would have better luck growing her armpit and pubic hair. I bet even those looks as if they've gone through a 100 perm treatments. So curly.

Actually, i think she can audition for PHUA CHU KANG. I mean, he has curly hair too right? But his is a wig and Kompui's one is original!! Only one problem. MAJOR problem. The thing that we remember most about PCK is that HUGE like-raisin-but-cant-eat-if-not-will-die mole of his. And here's the problem. Kompui's skin colour is the same as the mole. So HOW to see the mole?

One advice: Just cut your hair and save the looking girly for those who really look like GIRLS. I'm sorry to say that your attempts to look girly have failed miserably and did I mention that it SCARES PEOPLE OFF? Chances are more people will run when I scream KOMPUI rather than BOMB. Stick to the tux and cut your Goddamn hair man...

Me

My first ever official post. BF's one is unofficial. It was illegal trespassing on blogger's grounds. But I shan't take her up to court. I'm kind. Joke of the year that statement for those who know me.
Into Nic p's world: I come from a dysfunctional family. My mum's nuts so is my dad. That's why I'm nuts too. I mean like DUH? Two peanuts that mate together will never produce a walnut. Simple as that. Even the maids that we've hired for the past few years is weird. Delusional and nearing senile is a slightly more in-depth analysis of the recent one. HER report does'nt end here though. Another thing is that I'm the chairwoman of AIR INDIA. International company well-known for its SUPERB ENGINES.

Let's get started on MY MAID. Now how do I even begin? That crazy woman is seriously DELUSIONAL. She's fat, bouncy and round. Bouncier than DODO FISHBALLS. But she is of the opinion that she's thinner than Kate Moss. Yea, tell me about it. Seriously. Once, I held her hand to cross the road cause she was freaking out about it and I was amazed. Grab a bolster or pillow people. That's what her hand felt like. Go figure.

It's actually quite funny living in a psycho house. I mean you get to experience all sorts of weird things. I had a uni grad maid who drew an arrow on top of our house key that pointed to the door and wrote on it " Opens this door."And she left the key outside the door it opened. I had another maid who led me to a bus stop and made me wait for a bus that didn't come. Thank God I had the good sense not to kill her. If not I'd have to enjoy retirement in Changi prison. Not mention the fact that i'd may have to get all the wind forced out of my ass with caning. Now I'm still stuck with the senile one though.

Shall keep you all posted about the senile one...
TO BE CONTINUED......

Yay, I'll be the first person to blog on your blog since I'm your darling =D
Take care and see you soon!

BF <3