Wednesday, May 30, 2007

KOMPUI

Has anyone ever seen Kompui's freindster???? I mean like look at her pictures?? She was posing really weirdly. Her head was tilted sideways and she was SMILING. That smile is so freaky and starngely familiar. Now let me recall...where have I seen that smile before? Aaah!! I rememebr now. I saw it in the newspaper. I think she's a terrorist. Not surprising please. That smile could prove more potent than an atomic bomb.

She just doesn't get IT. She looks like a boy but she's trying so hard to look like a girl. WHY BOTHER? I mean that mop on her head that we call hair just CANNOT GROW. It grows anywhere and everywhere BUT longer. She would have better luck growing her armpit and pubic hair. I bet even those looks as if they've gone through a 100 perm treatments. So curly.

Actually, i think she can audition for PHUA CHU KANG. I mean, he has curly hair too right? But his is a wig and Kompui's one is original!! Only one problem. MAJOR problem. The thing that we remember most about PCK is that HUGE like-raisin-but-cant-eat-if-not-will-die mole of his. And here's the problem. Kompui's skin colour is the same as the mole. So HOW to see the mole?

One advice: Just cut your hair and save the looking girly for those who really look like GIRLS. I'm sorry to say that your attempts to look girly have failed miserably and did I mention that it SCARES PEOPLE OFF? Chances are more people will run when I scream KOMPUI rather than BOMB. Stick to the tux and cut your Goddamn hair man...

Friday, May 25, 2007

Me

My first ever official post. BF's one is unofficial. It was illegal trespassing on blogger's grounds. But I shan't take her up to court. I'm kind. Joke of the year that statement for those who know me.
Into Nic p's world: I come from a dysfunctional family. My mum's nuts so is my dad. That's why I'm nuts too. I mean like DUH? Two peanuts that mate together will never produce a walnut. Simple as that. Even the maids that we've hired for the past few years is weird. Delusional and nearing senile is a slightly more in-depth analysis of the recent one. HER report does'nt end here though. Another thing is that I'm the chairwoman of AIR INDIA. International company well-known for its SUPERB ENGINES.

Let's get started on MY MAID. Now how do I even begin? That crazy woman is seriously DELUSIONAL. She's fat, bouncy and round. Bouncier than DODO FISHBALLS. But she is of the opinion that she's thinner than Kate Moss. Yea, tell me about it. Seriously. Once, I held her hand to cross the road cause she was freaking out about it and I was amazed. Grab a bolster or pillow people. That's what her hand felt like. Go figure.

It's actually quite funny living in a psycho house. I mean you get to experience all sorts of weird things. I had a uni grad maid who drew an arrow on top of our house key that pointed to the door and wrote on it " Opens this door."And she left the key outside the door it opened. I had another maid who led me to a bus stop and made me wait for a bus that didn't come. Thank God I had the good sense not to kill her. If not I'd have to enjoy retirement in Changi prison. Not mention the fact that i'd may have to get all the wind forced out of my ass with caning. Now I'm still stuck with the senile one though.

Shall keep you all posted about the senile one...
TO BE CONTINUED......

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Yay, I'll be the first person to blog on your blog since I'm your darling =D
Take care and see you soon!

BF <3